It's 2 a.m. I lay in bed, my heart pounding in my chest like the steady, easy pace of a stampede. Can I sleep? Should I even try? It is, perhaps, in this witching hour, that my pen can truly fly unfettered.
They say that love is a many splendored thing. But as with any unquantifiably beautiful thing, it holds the sinister notion of fear. Fear of loss. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear that love will be everything the poets wrote about...and that you are a wretched and undeserving thing.
But perhaps this is love's greatest achievement. Love doesn't conquer those fears, but rather turns them into trifles. Childish ghost stories, no more threatening than the mysterious wraiths that once haunted our nursery. Nothing more now, than shadows on a wall and laughter at the ignorance of youth.
Yes, love conquers all. But only if we open our hearts and find a way to allow it to.
28.1.11
19.1.11
One down, many more to go
Well I finished the 2nd draft of my sitcom yesterday. Technically, it's the first complete draft as my 1st draft was missing several pages that I simply "didn't get to". Yea, I don't really buy it either.
The truth is that writing is an incredibly scary thing. On one hand, art is an intensely personal thing and it shouldn't really matter much what others think of it. In a very God-like metaphor, it's a personal relationship between creator and creation (I will come back to this in a bit). But on the other hand, art is meant to be enjoyed by the masses as well. Otherwise, why create it? Why not leave it in your head where it's safe and the imperfections are easily glossed over in your mind's eye. Art, even something as main stream as television sitcoms, is the artist baring part of their soul to the world. And the soul, though hard to destroy, is easily bruised.
It's this fear of bruising that can lock up a writer. The more I write the more I start to believe that there is no such thing as "writer's block". Instead, what we often call writer's block is really just the writer allowing fear to freeze their hand. The mind is still working. The hands stop out of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of making something unworthy. Fear that the words you're writing are just plain crap. Or maybe it isn't fear, but just a knowledge that the only words that are coming to mind are barely even a sentence. But there is a saying in this industry. Writing is re-writing. It's rare, if ever, that a writer gets the words right on the first go round. Understanding this, accepting and ultimately embracing it is what allows a writer to push through the blocks. Just like a sculptor needs material to carve a statue from, sometimes a writer needs words on a page to start carving out something amazing.
Anyone reading this, the next time you feel "writer's block", continue writing. Swallow the fear of making something bad. You'll have to come back to it but it will be much easier to fix what you have.
Which brings me back around to the God analogy. If everyone is script, God is editing us down to the bare essentials. He wants our story to make sense and ultimately be able to affect lives, but sometimes he has to delete a paragraph here, or add an adjective there. It's not easy, sometimes you rather liked that scene or this one. But God is the greatest story teller of all and he knows what makes the story work, much better than the characters in the story.
In a strange way, this analogy of us being characters in a screenplay God is writing is very accurate. This may seem like an argument for predestination and a lack of free will, but if you've ever written something with characters you know it's usually just the opposite. Characters I'm creating often seem to exist and take on a life of their own independent of my own conscious mind. Sometimes it is all I can do to keep up with them, much less direct where they will go or what they will do. But just like with God and me, I usually have a better sense of what is best for those characters than they do. They may want to go after the girl but I know that it's not meant to be.
Anyways, I think that's enough meditation for one entry. In the news department, I am hoping to have draft 2.1 of "Beat" done by the weekend. I'll be sending it out and getting feedback then. In the meantime, I have come up with a new show that I will begin working on as well. This is a drama this time and I'm very excited by the premise. I won't be sharing it here for the time being, but trust me, this will be a good one. Until next time!
The truth is that writing is an incredibly scary thing. On one hand, art is an intensely personal thing and it shouldn't really matter much what others think of it. In a very God-like metaphor, it's a personal relationship between creator and creation (I will come back to this in a bit). But on the other hand, art is meant to be enjoyed by the masses as well. Otherwise, why create it? Why not leave it in your head where it's safe and the imperfections are easily glossed over in your mind's eye. Art, even something as main stream as television sitcoms, is the artist baring part of their soul to the world. And the soul, though hard to destroy, is easily bruised.
It's this fear of bruising that can lock up a writer. The more I write the more I start to believe that there is no such thing as "writer's block". Instead, what we often call writer's block is really just the writer allowing fear to freeze their hand. The mind is still working. The hands stop out of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of making something unworthy. Fear that the words you're writing are just plain crap. Or maybe it isn't fear, but just a knowledge that the only words that are coming to mind are barely even a sentence. But there is a saying in this industry. Writing is re-writing. It's rare, if ever, that a writer gets the words right on the first go round. Understanding this, accepting and ultimately embracing it is what allows a writer to push through the blocks. Just like a sculptor needs material to carve a statue from, sometimes a writer needs words on a page to start carving out something amazing.
Anyone reading this, the next time you feel "writer's block", continue writing. Swallow the fear of making something bad. You'll have to come back to it but it will be much easier to fix what you have.
Which brings me back around to the God analogy. If everyone is script, God is editing us down to the bare essentials. He wants our story to make sense and ultimately be able to affect lives, but sometimes he has to delete a paragraph here, or add an adjective there. It's not easy, sometimes you rather liked that scene or this one. But God is the greatest story teller of all and he knows what makes the story work, much better than the characters in the story.
In a strange way, this analogy of us being characters in a screenplay God is writing is very accurate. This may seem like an argument for predestination and a lack of free will, but if you've ever written something with characters you know it's usually just the opposite. Characters I'm creating often seem to exist and take on a life of their own independent of my own conscious mind. Sometimes it is all I can do to keep up with them, much less direct where they will go or what they will do. But just like with God and me, I usually have a better sense of what is best for those characters than they do. They may want to go after the girl but I know that it's not meant to be.
Anyways, I think that's enough meditation for one entry. In the news department, I am hoping to have draft 2.1 of "Beat" done by the weekend. I'll be sending it out and getting feedback then. In the meantime, I have come up with a new show that I will begin working on as well. This is a drama this time and I'm very excited by the premise. I won't be sharing it here for the time being, but trust me, this will be a good one. Until next time!
10.1.11
Back at it in Burbank
Another year gone. But this year was a different one. It began (more or less) with my move to Los Angeles, just over a year ago now. January 7th was my D-Day of sorts.
Now here I am again, feeling like I've gone very little distance in the last year. I'm still poor and still have no job. I'm still living in the same apartment (though given the first two, that's quite an achievement really).
So in a weird way, this is like trying again. This is almost a second shot at my first year out here, only this time I have my feet under me a little more solidly. Perhaps not financially but certainly maturity and life wise. I've learned a lot over this year, even if it feels like little has changed.
Last year was more about survival, this year I really start my career. I've been writing pretty consistently so far this year. I've made a concerted effort to view that as my first job and to make it a priority every day. Being conscious and purposeful with my writing is the first step in this process of turning, what has essentially been a hobby, into a full fledged career.
I've been working a lot on my sitcom pilot this week. I'm hoping to have it polished within the next few months so it is ready for contests. At the rate I'm going it will be done with months to spare actually. I really feel good about this pilot. Even if it doesn't win the contest, I think it will be bought someday. I'll be sure to tell you all more about it sometime, but after I have it finished and protected. The last thing I need is to have this thing stolen out from under me.
Anyways, that's about enough rambling for now. Until next time (which will hopefully be soon, this counts as writing in my new system too).
Now here I am again, feeling like I've gone very little distance in the last year. I'm still poor and still have no job. I'm still living in the same apartment (though given the first two, that's quite an achievement really).
So in a weird way, this is like trying again. This is almost a second shot at my first year out here, only this time I have my feet under me a little more solidly. Perhaps not financially but certainly maturity and life wise. I've learned a lot over this year, even if it feels like little has changed.
Last year was more about survival, this year I really start my career. I've been writing pretty consistently so far this year. I've made a concerted effort to view that as my first job and to make it a priority every day. Being conscious and purposeful with my writing is the first step in this process of turning, what has essentially been a hobby, into a full fledged career.
I've been working a lot on my sitcom pilot this week. I'm hoping to have it polished within the next few months so it is ready for contests. At the rate I'm going it will be done with months to spare actually. I really feel good about this pilot. Even if it doesn't win the contest, I think it will be bought someday. I'll be sure to tell you all more about it sometime, but after I have it finished and protected. The last thing I need is to have this thing stolen out from under me.
Anyways, that's about enough rambling for now. Until next time (which will hopefully be soon, this counts as writing in my new system too).
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