A Quick Soapbox Moment

I really don't like politicking. I've been raised in a generation of war and corrupt politicians that don't ever follow through with anything and are rarely discernibly different from the corrupt politicians they replaced. So my attitude towards politics for the last 10 years or so has been largely one of disappointment and disenfranchisement. And I'm hardly alone in this.

More people in my generation (and this is a fact) get their political news/commentary from Comedy Central (in The Daily Show and the Colbert Report) than from any other source which, despite what many would have you believe, is really more of an indictment on our "impartial" "journalists" (yes I meant to put quotes around both of those separately) than it is a commentary on our nation's youth and their interest in politics. As this article clearly demonstrates, we do care. We just don't believe anymore.

'Why not' you ask? Where do I start? Where is the country right now? It's important to remind people because they seem to forget when the country's problems don't directly impact them. Unemployment is still above 8% and nearly double what it was just 5 years ago (it's estimated to be above 13% for 22-30 year olds, though specific numbers are hard to come by). We are currently over $15 TRILLION in debt (a number that goes up by the second). A debt that we nearly defaulted on less than a year ago because we had to change the law... to allow ourselves to go more in debt! We have been at war for over 10 years and until recently, were fighting that war in two separate sovereign nations simultaneously (neither of which did we ever officially declare war on, since that's something we haven't done in over 70 years, despite prescription from the Constitution that it's not allowed). And now they're laying the ground work to get us back in the Persian Gulf again. On a related note, if you want to look smart with your friends, start placing your bets for the Iran invasion now. If things continue as they are, they'll be asking you for stock advice in less than two years.

This December, the Senate passed the NDAA Bill, that Obama then signed, by a vote of 93-7. Now, the National Defense Authorization Act is a "must pass" bill every year. However, contained in this Act is language that allows the Government to detain "suspected terrorists", American or Non-American, for an indefinite amount of time, without trial. Ignoring for a second that taking someone's rights away based on labeling them a terrorist (which in itself violates the "innocent until proven guilty" statutes of our laws) is completely horrifying, this Act effectively takes away, in nearly verbatim fashion, our 6th Amendment rights. Under this law, any American citizen can be arrested, by the military no less, as a "terror suspect" and held indefinitely. This joins a growing list of very frightening laws (hey, remember the 4th Amendment? yea, neither do I...) that have been passed in the last ten years, most of which came in the name of security. All of which asked us to sacrifice our liberty to achieve it. And don't even get me started on the whole SOPA/PIPA near fiasco.

Enough is enough. More of the same is no longer an acceptable option for me, and many other Americans. I'm sick of how the rest of the world views America and, by association, me. I'm sick of being lied to by my politicians while they laugh all the way to the bank with the lobbyists and special interests. I'm especially sick of being told that Muslims "hate our freedom" (why do people still believe that?), instead of the truth; that they hate the fact that we have attacked their countries and killed hundreds of thousands unnecessarily. I was all for invading Afghanistan 10 years ago (even though no one has successfully invaded Afghanistan in over a thousand years), but Osama is dead, Al-Quaeda hasn't been there for years and they were NEVER in Iraq in the first place; what are we still doing at war?! I'm sick of giving up liberties and freedoms so I can feel safer (and honestly, do you feel more or less safe when going through an TSA checkpoint at the airport? cause it's less for me). And yes, I mean "feel" safer, because there's no way you're going to convince me that someone couldn't hijack a plane exactly the way they did on 9/11 with a screwdriver, a scissors or any number of blunt objects that are 100% ok in a carry-on (of course it wouldn't work, and probably wouldn't be attempted, because the passengers would fight back this time, but that's also kind of the point). And I'm sick of paying taxes to a government that can't control it's spending any better than a 13 year old girl at the mall with their dad's credit card and no chaperone.

I was raised a proud American, taught the Constitution and the Bill of Rights (which I firmly believe are two of the greatest man made documents in human history) and told thousands of times "America is the greatest country on Earth". Well guess what? The greatest country on Earth doesn't deny it's citizens their rights. The greatest country on Earth doesn't torture and humiliate their prisoners. The greatest country on Earth doesn't constantly devalue it's own currency with inflation. The greatest country on Earth doesn't nearly shut down because they can't pay their debts. The greatest country on Earth doesn't bribe or bully their allies into doing what they want. The greatest country on Earth doesn't lead with threats, but with diplomacy. The greatest country on Earth wins the just wars they participate in. The greatest country on Earth doesn't sacrifice it's young men and women in combat at their President's leisure. The greatest country on Earth doesn't have over 25 million people on unemployment. The greatest country on Earth doesn't spend more money than they have. The greatest country on Earth doesn't have it's representatives in the pockets of the financial elite. Maybe we need to stop just calling ourselves the "greatest country on Earth" and start actually being the greatest country on Earth!

Ron Paul knows all of this and has been preaching it for years.







I believe strongly in his platform but most mainstream media/establishment people don't take him seriously. I want to spread some awareness about him. So if you're like me, or even if you're just curious and seek to be well informed, I'd encourage you to watch these. Don't listen to the media or anyone else. Listen to his own words from his own mouth, and hear the fearless honesty. Look at the facts about his history as a politician and his consistency, both in his personal life and his voting record. Decide for yourself.

As for me, I'll be voting for him in November. Even if that means writing him in on the ballot. Many have told me "a vote for anyone but the Republican candidate is a vote for Obama", which basically defeats the whole point of democracy, but whatever. But I can't, in good conscience, support any of the other "status quo" candidates on either side because the status quo is not quo. The world's a mess and I just need to... sorry, slipped into a Dr. Horrible quote there. I'm happy to discuss my views with anyone if they have questions about it. For now, I leave you with some fantastic videos about Paul and his policies.

Anyone who has heard horror stories about "What Ron Paul wants to do" needs to watch this:

And this:


What else does he have to say?






There. Soapbox vacated. Go about your business.

Is it a sign?

Well my plans for tonight just completely fell through rather unceremoniously. I'm taking it as a sign that I need to update this thing. To be fair, it has been waaaay too long so I apologize for that. Sometimes it feels like there's nothing going on in my life. So I wait until enough things have piled up to make it worth posting about.

So let's see, what have we got in the pile? In December I went home for Christmas and my birthday. The last two years were 3 week long trips but, for reasons that will be explained later, this year was a 2 week trip. Let me just say, you really feel the extra week. Everything felt so tight the entire trip. I was always trying to cram more family/friend/Minnesota time into my day, which frustratingly wouldn't stretch to accommodate the extra demands on my time.

The trip was great though and I got some important family/recharge time in. I don't think it could ever be "long enough" really but it was adequate. I had to get back by the 31st of December anyways because my brother Jordan and my dad were coming out to visit me. That's right, about 24 hours after I made my return to sunny California, I was followed by 1/3 of my family.

And what a great trip that turned out to be. More or less an extended vacation for me, I turned into tour guide for about 5 days as I chauffeured my family members around the treacherous California roads. I drove my new car (oh yea, I got a new car in December, 97 Accord) around town and showed them all the sights. We hit the Rose Bowl parade, took a tour on the Warner Bros lot (including lunch at the commissary) and saw dolphins jumping as the sun set on a beach in Malibu. We even got to have dinner with our good friend Remus from Haiti, who has lived in the Los Angeles area for many years.

It was a wonderful trip filled with eighty degree days and wonderful memories, but it had to end eventually. I sent them off back to Minnesota and it was back to "real" life for me. And that's about it really.

"Real" life, for me consists mostly of two things; working on my writing and working on finding a job. The first one is easy, though it requires a bit of discipline at times. But no one is paying me for that. Not yet. The "finding a job" part is by far the harder of the two. Setting aside the fact that unemployment in my age bracket nationally is upwards of 13% (higher in Los Angeles by all counts, though I have no numbers on that), I just don't know how to get a job. It's not something that comes naturally to me at all and I don't have much practice at it.

The real issue though is that these two problems compound and essentially make the sum worse than the individual parts. Normally, if I were doing something wrong in my job hunt, I would be able to figure it out eventually and make adjustments. But because the job market is so competitive, and there are so few jobs that I can be considered for, I don't know if my failings in this pursuit are a result of a flawed resume, a bad interview or just general misfortune. Did I never hear back from that job because my resume was wrong or because I'm not what they're looking for? Did I just not measure up to the competition well enough? Did I do something wrong in my interview? Trial and error is a really slow process to learn from normally, but especially when the opportunities are so few and far between. Then there are issues of "fate" and "God's will", but I could spend an entire post on that stuff alone.

But basically that's about it. I'm going to be writing on here more moving forward so you shouldn't have to wait 3 months for my next update. Until next time...

p.s. If anyone reading this has some contacts or friends in the Los Angeles area that might be able to help me in my pursuit of work out here, I would really appreciate being put in contact with them. Anything from advice to a job offer will do. Because the other missing ingredient in my job hunt is connections (sadly, the most important one these days). I'm working on that, but it's a slow process. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Isolationist Theory and Coping Mechanisms

It's that time of year again. The weather has gotten a bit chillier. The leaves have begun to change (finally!). Football season is half over (already!?). And everywhere I look are reminders of the Holiday season that is now being thrust upon us. Meanwhile, my heart breaks every day.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First I should explain some things about living two thousand miles from family. I come from a close knit family. We get along well and genuinely love each other. So after seeing my family on an almost weekly basis for the better part of the last twenty five years (and to a somewhat lesser extent, friends I've known just a fraction of that time), suddenly going months at a time away from them becomes very emotionally taxing. I feel every mile. It feels like I'm hungry, but in my soul instead of my gut.

Most of the time, the easiest way to cope with it is to push it to the back of my mind. Just don't think about it. It's not a good solution. It's not a solution at all really. Isolating myself more just makes me feel further away when the feelings do break through (which they always do). But it's a band aid and it makes the hurt less. They're out of sight, might as well keep them out of mind (though to be clear, I still usually talk to my family several times a week. I just use this technique for the times in between).

Except this time of year. Every colored leaf on the ground. Every turkey in a shop window. Every disturbingly premature Christmas decoration. They are all acute reminders of the family and friends I miss so far from here. My mind is abruptly pulled out of my own world and into the world I left behind when I made the leap to Los Angeles two years ago.

I suppose that's kind of the point really. There is probably no season of the year that has so many traditions associated with it. From big things like opening presents on Christmas morning, to little things like a leaf or snowflake on the ground, there is no avoiding the memories and feelings we've come to associate with each. And, of course, that is the point of traditions in the first place.

For many, this is what makes the next two months their favorite time of year. The happy feelings associated with every song, every holly branch. The general feeling of nostalgia and good will that is so prevalent at this time of year. And good for them. I envy that. I just get homesick. It isn't an entirely bad thing. But the word "sick" is in there for a reason.

Loneliness is a near constant companion this time of year, even in the midst of a group of friends, and I try my best not to think about it. I don't even like talking about this now, as I am basically bathing in my loneliness just by writing this. So I'm sorry to anyone reading this for not staying in touch better than I do. Now you know why. It's not an excuse, just an explanation. I guess that's all I'm really trying to say.

A Proposal (Part 4)

They retired from that park, hand in hand and beaming. The smiles on their faces couldn't be dulled. Neither had any true comprehension of the decision they had just made. Nor how inexplicably their lives had been altered in that brief, joyous moment. Teresa called her mother. And James texted his frat brothers. And they went swing dancing.

They felt weightless on the floor that night. Flying and twirling through the music, their minds drifted to far off visions of the future. Their future. The honeymoon. Starting a family. A new home. The first day of school. Family vacations. Graduations. Grandchildren. Their golden years together. It was all before them.

They didn't yet know that Teresa was barren. Nor could they foresee James' struggles with alcoholism. Teresa never imagined she would get breast cancer. And James hadn't predicted he'd die alone, his once sharp mind ravaged by Alzheimer's. This too was before them.

At that moment, James just knew that he loved Teresa. And she loved him too. At the end of his life, many years later, he would look back and know; that really was enough.

A Proposal (Part 3)

James forged ahead. It now seemed to him that he was merely an observer in all of this. Like a passerby, standing just behind him and slightly to the side. Or perhaps next to Teresa. Yes, that would be better. That was his one regret in all of this; that he couldn’t hold her in his arms in this moment. Everything seemed better with her warm body pressed up against his. Everything. And he knew in his heart he could do anything with her by his side. Even get through this.

He continued to drift through his prepared speech, the one that he'd spent months memorizing, until he suddenly realized that he'd stopped talking. This was it! His panic threatened to return for the briefest of moments as he worried that he had forgotten to end on a question.

"Yes! Yes! Of course I'll marry you!" she cried, alleviating his concerns in the process. "Really?" he asked, feeling like an idiot before the words had even left his mouth. It would be a story they could tell their children someday. "When your father asked me to marry him, I said yes. And he said 'Really?'"

James slipped the ring onto her finger. He was struck by how much anticipation and anxiety had led up to such a simple act. And just like that, it was over. The engagement was on.

He rose up to her lips and he kissed her like the eternity that they just lived through had actually happened.

To be continued...

A Proposal (Part 2)

As he started to speak the words caught in his throat, tripping over each other as they all tried to rush out at once. A millisecond of panic shot through him like a bolt as he thought back on all his scenarios, simultaneously recognizing that this had never happened in any of them. The word "Abort" flashed in front of his eyes as sirens blared. Adrenaline surged through his veins as his flight or flight instincts, born through millennia of his ancestors escaping danger, began to kick in. He could feel his muscles tensing up, coiling in anticipation. But then the moment passed. Moments always do. And as quickly as it had come his panic retreated away without him, giving way to his steely determination that had brought him to this point.

Teresa’s own mind was less calm about the flub. Outwardly she kept up appearances. Her smile remained glued in place, and tears continued to well in her eyes. But inwardly a small voice was objecting loudly. "NO! It’s not supposed to happen like this! It’s supposed to be perfect!" And she knew the voice was right. The man is not supposed to stumble over the words. Her pulse began to quicken as her fantasy of a perfect, dream proposal withered and died before her eyes. The objections were welling inside her, threatening to escape.

But then she looked into his eyes. The eyes that had always been there when she needed him. The eyes that had cried with her. The eyes that had shared in her joy. In his eyes she saw the love he had for her. Well, love with a little bit of fear. And for a moment, her heart was completely calm. "Hush now," she consoled the voice, "It is perfect."

To be continued...

A Proposal (Part 1)

Teresa knew where this was going. The candles? The rose petals? She wasn’t dumb. The truth is she had been wondering aloud to her friends when James would propose. It had been an incredible two years, but it was about time for them to move on to the next stage. So when he had mysteriously brought her to their favorite spot, here in the park where they shared their first date, she knew what to expect.

But even with all the anticipation and expectation, she wasn’t quite prepared for the way her heart jumped in her chest when she saw him kneel down in front of her. In fact, if her attention hadn’t been so singularly focused on the man before her, she very well may have fainted. She had waited for this moment her whole life.

While he never would have admitted it publicly, James had dreamt of this his whole life too. Always the hopeless romantic. Always the chivalrous gentlemen. James had run this scenario a thousand times in his head. A thousand, thousand times. And yet, even though it always ended with her saying the greatest word in the English language, he just couldn’t stop his hands from sweating now.

"This is such a vulnerable position", he thought, "I’ve never felt so exposed in my life." And that really was saying a lot considering his college fraternity’s propensity for streaking.

To be continued...